I wrote that last post a week ago but apparently didn't have the energy to even post it. I'm actually feeling better today. I spent about 3 hours on housework--have not been able to do that in months? Or longer?

I had to get my three-month shot for cancer prevention recurrence several weeks ago, and it left me exhausted, without energy or motivation. Boy if that doesn't play into depression. I spent that time being pretty hard on myself for being lazy. But just like a depression-only induced exhaustion, once I have pulled out of the medication exhaustion, I feel like a normal person (with an ever so slight tinge of hypomania). It is not just a different brain but a different body. I can move about, do things, and have inertia in a positive direction--that is, momentum to keep moving.

And to think, some people feel like this almost every day!

At times like this I feel I have clarity. And the state I'm in when exhausted is not lazy. But goodness knows I will blame myself when I'm back in the black hole.